Despite Zion Williamson's Impressive Debut He's Still Going To Be The Next Greg Oden

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Despite Zion Williamson's Impressive Debut He's Still Going To Be The Next Greg Oden

Last night Zion Williamson had an impressive NBA debut. He broke records and looked great scoring 17 consecutive points in the 4th quarter. I've never heard an arena erupt so loudly for uglier layups and 3pt shots. Yeah, they went in, but they got hit with every ugly branch on the way down. It's not Zions fault he has a clunky game, you don't really have an opportunity to be smooth and graceful when you are the thiccest player in the league.  

I shouldn't hate Zion Williamson. He is a nice kid and he has a lot of talent. But I hate Zion Williamson. A lot of it stems from some friends of mine (who I love to be on the opposite end of a debate with) stanning for Zion already and carving out a space for him in Springfield. Zion is a good player, no doubt, but he is injury prone and his huge frame is going to break him down like Greg Oden's did, and he'll be listed in the anals of NBA busts and not on the walls in Springfield.

Every once in a while an athlete will come along with a lot of hype that I just don't like and right now that athlete is Zion Williamson. A lot of that hate comes from just how ugly his game is. If I had to compare Zion's game to a person, it would be Black Jack Fletcher, who Barstool Big Cat once famously said was so ugly he will take your breath away. If I had to compare watching his game to the feeling I get when I listen to a particular song, it would be the feeling I used to get when I heard "Fireflies" by Owl City. Why does everyone else like this fucking song?!? I've got a creative, highly analytical brain that only enjoys watching smooth athletes and listening to sonically pleasing songs. Much like how I consume sports by evaluating each attribute of an athlete's game (most important attributes are smooth & crisp play, clutchness & killer instinct, and unadulterated competitive streaks) and then admire how they come together to form the athlete as a whole, I listen to the lyrics of a song, the tone of a singers voice, and the music behind it and evaluate how they all come together. Fireflies was by far the worse combination I'd ever heard. The stupid robot music, the singer's whiny soy boy voice and those god damn lyrics. Oh, you'd get 1,000 hugs from 10,000 lightning bugs as they'd try to teach you how to dance? Shut the fuck up with that shit and get it off the radio.


I am, as they say, a sports purest and I love the great players of the game who played with a smoothness and struck fear in their opponents. Michael Jordan. Kobe Bryant. Ken Griffey Jr. Muhammad Ali. Tiger Woods. Conor McGregor. Those guys play their sports as poetry in motion. They have finesse, agility, and grace, the IT factor. Basketball players without finesse and grace just try to dunk hard and lower their shoulders. Some people (with lesser brains) think that style of play is fun to watch, but a Lebron James or Zion Williamson power slam or freight train will NEVER look as good as or be as fun to watch as a gliding Jordan dunk or Kobe Bryant triple move fade-away. Power players have their own fan bases and that's fine but you can't argue that the finesse players aren't more visually appealing to watch. You just can't. 

Lebron James has never had a major injury, and his frame was built better for longevity than Zion Williamson's. Zion is just too thicc. His thighs are too close together to be graceful. And the sad but hard truth is that Zion Willamson is much more likely to become the next Greg Oden then the next Lebron James. 


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